The Stereotypes Are Scared If You Have This One Attitude

Photo by Felicia Buitenwerf on Unsplash

You can believe everything you see. Or you can choose to follow the curious route that kids take and start firing questions instead. Curiosity can be perceived as stubbornness by some people if not expressed in the right way.

Questions support the work by asking for evidence. Even if you think the solution in the view seems perfect, asking questions just adds another layer of confidence that proves everything is going in the right direction.

But what if it is not going the right way and you want to change it? Your developed identity will pop this first question in your head, “Am I the right person to take the responsibility?”

Embrace the temporary shocks of uncertainty.

Consider taking a step back and analyse the previous question: How can you even evaluate your worth in the context if you haven’t started yet? Yes, the same thing again in this question. Evidence!

Your monkey-mind won’t stop here. It will storm similar questions:

  • “How will my community treat me for this?”
  • “It is scary. No one has ever succeeded at this before.”
  • “I will be challenging a lot of people’s mindsets.”
  • “I will face a lot of backlashes.”
  • “People will label me a misfit.”
  • “What if the rejections are all I get?”
  • “Luck won’t favour me.”
  • “My family won’t support me.”
  • “I have no one. I am a total dud.”

The quality of all these questions is they are directing your attention to all the things that can go wrong. You think about the performance of work first. You do it without even putting in some effort to see the course of the process.

At this time, when you haven’t materialised your imagination yet, focus on the positive especially feels hopeless because honestly, you don’t know how the path will go.

A little amount of uncertainty is healthy because if you see it one way, it means you don’t have to worry about the future too much. Instead, focus on giving the best instead. Your courage won’t go in vain. At least not anytime soon!

No one knows what is happening in your head. Adventure happens when you package your work for everyone to see.

Sometimes you may need to prove your worth, but you are worried too much about the external validation.

If you have learned to embraced uncertainty, here comes the next daring part.

Bold attitude is scary.

Whenever a fight is going in the streets or any public place, what do you do? Or what you see most people do? They stand and watch. It’s like a live violent freak show with attention up for grabs.

Watching is not fun at all. Not in my case. I don’t know why my friends frown upon my decision when I abject. When I am with my friends where a public fight is happening, my friends are like, “Dude, let’s watch!”

In my head, this is what I want to say so bad, “Why not just watch? Why not throw some jello on them? You doofus! Maybe that will lighten up the fun for you!”

But I respond less aggressively. At least I try. I say, “No. I don’t want to watch. What will you do by just watching? If you can neutralise the fight or support a party, then it makes sense. But if you just behave like an audience as everyone else, then you are even dumber than the people who are fighting. You go your way, and I go mine. I won’t just stand and watch. I have more important work to do. Just watching there with popcorn is nonsense.”

If anyone still asks me to join in as the audience for such a scene where we can’t have any impact, I say precisely the previously bold-formatted sentence.

Enjoy the scene if you want to, but don’t expect a herd to follow you. Not everyone sees fun the same way. Either appreciate the fact or explain why someone should look from your eyes.

Internal validations trump the external ones.

Getting constant approval will slow down your process in the long run. It will shift the attention from putting more work and divert it to the feedback instead. People like passing judgements. Which judgement to take seriously is in your hands.

If you are confident in your work and feel good about it, do it anyway. The people whose problems you’re solving, their feedback matters! Not everyone’s.

When I started writing, even my father questioned me this, “How can you write on so many topics?” He did not project the question in the right way. I got negative vibes from his tone.

He asked this because he did not see the potential in my writing back then. He wasn’t even the first person to follow me on Medium on day 1 ( March 25, 2020 ). He followed me on day 23 ( today is 76 ).

I spent some time in celebration. I just felt like the unlimited support I was dying for; it is back in the game.

But I didn’t stop in the starting even if my friends and family doubted my success. Instead of explaining everyone about the path, I let my work speak for itself. I have set the next target as day 100. I will increase the destination once I reach there.

I don’t have a future status set for success. Putting effort every day is a success, especially if you show up even on bad days. Success is subjective. You know everyone defines it based on their perception of it.

External validations are useful only when you pay attention to the correct metrics at the right times. You could loathe yourself for skipping the meeting if your team didn’t agree with you. Some times it is a bad day. Shake it off and do your best anyway. This positive memory will be persistent.

You create opportunities instead of seeking them.

Anyone who has reached the height of success with a long struggle story knows this truth. When you are starting, you are desperately looking for someone who will appreciate your work and pay you the attention you think you deserve. But here is a thought: do you deserve consideration if you haven’t put in work yet?

The answer is no. That’s why I only practice two things when I want to grow my audience base: CREATE and SHARE. That’s all an artist can control.

We leave up to the rest of the world to decide if our work is worth their time. When it does turn the heads, you will see opportunities knocking your step.

My dream is to reach some of the top publications on Medium, even some of the Medium-owned ones too. But it can’t happen if I don’t have a history of successful blogs.

I am a writer for five publications now. Four of them came in the last month. It wouldn’t be possible if I paid attention to all the negative feedback from the people who think I don’t know what I am doing. Instead, I showed up every day.

I made it till day 76 today. I will reach day 100 too and set a new target that day.

Final words

Let the stereotypes sulk in what they think is right. If you want to show the change, just show it with your work.

Your courageous attitude will challenge their thinking. Maybe one day they will bow out. They may stop you in the starting, but you only have to speak up to them once if they are interrupting too much.

Be bold, bright and don’t take their opinions seriously. Carve the path you want to live because only you get to experience it first! Isn’t it exciting to face the adventure first-hand? My answer is “Yes” because I do it every day.

This blog belongs to a series of posts I am publishing in this 100-days streak. Today is day 76. Navigate to the end of article 22, for the references from day 23 onwards. If you would like to read the ones before day 22, here is the first one that documents them in the end.

~ Sanjeev

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Sanjeev Yadav

Sanjeev Yadav

Writer • Mentor • Recovering Shopaholic • IITR 2019 • ✍🏼 Personal Growth, Positive Psychology & Lifelong Learning• IG: sanjeevai • List: sanjeevai.ck.page