From the One Who Hasn’t Celebrated Mother’s Day in 15 Years

Photo by Derek Thomson on Unsplash

Because of the time difference, Mother’s Day is still live in some parts of the world as I am writing now. Happy Mother’s Day to you all and embrace the time you have to relish this day.

The memories are fading with time.

The last time I had a chance to celebrate this moment was around 15 years ago. Then she contracted a disease, and we tried everything we could to save her. Sometimes the situation is out of control. The sooner you accept this truth, the wiser you become!

After losing her, I even had elders telling me, “If you behave like a sincere child, she will come to you after two years.” I was seven back then. I could have even believed if someone told me this, “We have another Sun that doesn’t shine”.

The real-life angel: Dad

I have said enough from childhood memories. If I talk more about it then I can’t write, I’ll cry.

As I grew up and had my father as the unlimited support by my side, he made me so strong that I was almost unaffected by emotions.

I thought it was weak to cry and express your vulnerabilities to others. I became a machine and still embrace that version whenever I get back to work mode. I maintain the same energy level until I finish a task.

“Emotional intelligence is probably the most powerful yet undervalued trait in our society. “ — Brianna Wiest

Memories are tacked in your mind for a reason. You remember them vividly because you were happy or sad ( or whatever the intense emotion was ) while living them. If you know the trigger behind your feelings and have a proper outlet for them, the experience is cathartic.

I still do remember her on Mother’s Day every year, but tears don’t flow naturally now. Even if they do come when I miss her ( like seeing everyone celebrate on social media ), I feel my heart pain, let the tears redden my eyes and clear the running nose repeatedly.

Every day is Father’s Day.

Recently I mentioned how I rarely talked to my dad because of the emotional connection that we lacked between us. But I gave my heart another chance to build a secure connection, and from that day onwards, I call him every day.

Greeting him on call is the first thing I do when I check my phone for the first time in the morning. It is the same as taking blessing from your parents before leaving for school. Only this time, we are in different cities, and I am working at my job. Man, we are growing up so fast!

Every day starts like a king.

My day starts with a bang and ends with the hope that I will energise my next day again by talking to him. Not just that, we also have more extended discussions now.

We don’t throw simple questions like “how do you do?” or the similar conversation killers. They are generic questions, mood hangers and often the conversation ends with this response, “I’m okay”.

Boy, we go deeper now! We talk about anything and everything that comes to mind. Anything we remember to lighten the mood, any childhood memory that sounds fun.

After all the discussions, I count myself lucky I can make time for him every day despite my busy schedule. It is a sigh of relief for him and a source of gratitude for me!

This article belongs to a series of posts I am publishing in this 100-days streak. Today is day 48. Navigate to the end of the article 22, for the references from day 23 onwards. If you would like to read the ones before day 22, here is the first one that documents them in the end.

~ Sanjeev

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Writer • Mentor • Recovering Shopaholic • IITR 2019 • ✍🏼 Personal Growth, Positive Psychology & Lifelong Learning• IG: sanjeevai • List: sanjeevai.ck.page

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Sanjeev Yadav

Sanjeev Yadav

Writer • Mentor • Recovering Shopaholic • IITR 2019 • ✍🏼 Personal Growth, Positive Psychology & Lifelong Learning• IG: sanjeevai • List: sanjeevai.ck.page