College Competition Ruined My Academics but Gave a Higher Sense of Life Purpose
The secret to a happy life is meaningful human connections
Directed by parents and influenced by the outmoded beliefs from the society, this is the ideal dream stuffed in the brain of a middle-class Indian kid who receives quality primary education: take science or arts stream after 10th class. I took science. Then prepare for IIT ( IITs are a big deal in India ) if you love Maths; otherwise, medical exams for Biology nuts, crack the national level exam and live your dream.
Little did we know that life of dreams is full of struggles, challenges and hard resets. It is in the college that we learn to become self-reliant and make decisions on our own. The earlier you become independent, the earlier your parents free you.
Thankfully, I became responsible at an early age: the moment I entered college, my dad set me free. Some of my friends still aren’t master of their life! They are 23 years old and still want parents’ permission while making decisions. That’s not freedom for me. I wonder how my friends live like this! Are they even adulting the right way?
College academics are different from school
It is better said than done: you can’t study the same way in college as you nailed in school.
The big picture in a nutshell: In school, you studied to advance the exams, to make way for college. But in the college, you study because you want to build a career out of it. What you do in college will decide the course of your entire life. That’s why it is crucial to study what you like, rather than what the academics throw at you.
Especially, if your career plans don’t depend on the domain you’re studying in academics, many people do the job in the non-core field, e.g. a job role in the exciting field of computer science despite graduating in chemical engineering. Yes, such numbers are rising because the computer science field is here to stay!
The gems of college life
Everyone fantasizes about the luxuries we want and fail to appreciate what we already have. Gratitude is a tough pill to swallow when you’re obsessed with materialism instead of essentialism.
The moment I left my college for the last time on May 25, 2019, I realized that the college gave me friends more than anything in this world. It has taught me: “People are never against you. They are for themselves.” It means no one hurts you because of disgust. They do it because of their insecurities and tragic life history. They are disturbed from inside and show that negativity on you.
I am not talking about the extremely toxic people; you can shoot them whenever you want! Hit a bullet in my name too!
Funny friends that make you cry
I started online gaming in college. It almost destroyed my academics. As soon as I realised it after getting F grade in a course, I stopped playing CS:GO and focused on my career for the remaining time in college, which includes maintaining the grades while getting job security after graduation.
Then to protect my mental health, I prioritised job satisfaction and left the toxic culture at my first job. Your boss makes you do nonsense hard work if you end up in a company which values hustle culture more than employee relations and wellbeing.
On the positive side, online gaming in college introduced me to a whole new community on our campus. The community that:
- is rich by heart,
- values your personality,
- fights a lot, but also knows that a healthy dose of disagreement is an essential part of love. You fight, talk, heal and move on. Together.
One such group are the people who are involved in college politics. I just got a glimpse of how college politics looks from a first-person view. But the height friends go to support their candidate is commendable.
Whether it is campus politics, studies, money issues, lecture attendance or relationships, there is a little guardian angel in everyone that helps you in the time of need.
The group where I belong ( the politics people with a good heart ), I fight with them a lot. It is because they value relationships more than anything, which sometimes contradicts with my priorities when I am around them. They taught me college life is more than just academics. Chill out with friends and enjoy your life the Epicurean style!
Final words
The cover picture for this blog is from the wedding of my friend’s sister. Not everyone could make it. But the ones who did ( more than the ones who are in the photo ), it was so hard for us leave.
Everyone had the same thought while departing, “Give me a time machine. I want to relive the past three days.” We hope to meet again soon!
Some of my friends had their worst time in college. Some don’t even want to remember what happened. That’s because of their reasons and expectations, not turning out the way they thought, which is what happens when you try to take control of something you are supposed to let go!
But there is another tribe also. The one who cries whenever seeing the college memories. The one who wants to go back to the college for a reunion trip. The one who wants to hang out like the old days, but this time without the pressure of academics. Because folks! Physically we left the college a year ago, but our hearts still speak the same language we learned there, the expression of love and laughter! Sometimes drinking also. Dare I say, smoking!
This blog belongs to a series of posts I am publishing on a daily streak. Target-1 was 21 days. Target-2 was 100. Target-3 is 150. Today is day 110. Here is the first blog that started the streak.
~ S.
