COMMUNICATION SKILLS
3 Simple Ways to Make Your Advice Worth Hearing
No small talk. No judgment. Sheer altruism.
No one wants to repeat the same advice if the second person keeps coming back without learning anything on their own. It frustrates us because we gave our time to help a person who came back with the same confusion we tried to eliminate. It even makes us feel that the second person disrespects our knowledge.
But when you sense that the second person is serious about taking action, your heart wants to help them in any efficient way you can.
To make sure your advice helps the second person without sounding judgmental, I’m sharing the three methods below that have proved helpful in my dialogues.
They have also improved my communication skills because I used to give terrible career advice a year ago. But now I know better.
#1. Trust your experiences to build credibility.
You’re being a little vulnerable, which is sexy in making deep connections because of the power of emotions.
I’m talking to an admirer [ of my writing ] on IG who wants to pursue a creative career while his two years of secondary education are still left.
He is lost because he can’t convince his parents to agree with him. Since I’ve been through a similar experience, I shared my journey to guide him on how he can proceed the same way I did.
When you share your advice from your experience, it builds credibility and trust because you’re bleeding a pop of your personality to help someone in need.
You’re being a little vulnerable, which is sexy in making deep connections because of the power of emotions.
#2. Ignite a sense of urgency by ditching the small talk.
There is tough love that people need to hear to get their shit together. And then there is the soft language that makes them feel like princesses.
When you learn to find a healthy balance between the two types of treatment mentioned in the previous paragraph by ditching the small talk and directly getting to the point, the second person is more likely to follow through because they feel the seriousness in your attitude.
You're quickly getting to the point without sounding like Hitler. You’re saving time for everyone.
#3. Don’t change their mind. Show empathy instead.
Getting started is the first step, and if you can energise someone to step out of their comfort zone, the novelty will motivate them further because action begets action.
We can only advise from our experience with a sheer sense of altruism. Ultimately, it is the second person’s choice to follow through.
But what if they’re hellbent on submitting to their circumstances. Does it mean we should rant on them for being a pussy? No, that’s a bully attitude.
I show compassion by consoling them that they don’t need to have everything figured out on the spot.
Getting started is the first step, and if you can energise someone to step out of their comfort zone, the novelty will motivate them further because action begets action.
Ever seen a runner stop abruptly? Nope. That’s the power of inertia of motion. It keeps you moving unless an external force stops you.
Final words
Your time is valuable. And so is the time of the person who approached you for advice.
Someone comes to you for suggestions mainly because they saw a distinguishing and admirable potential in you.
If you have terrible communication skills because you were a pushover enamoured by an attention-seeker mentality ( me five years go ), giving advice feels like a daunting task.
But once you trust your experiences, create a strong sense of urgency in the second person by showing empathy, you’re saving time for everyone.
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Sanjeev is a writer, mentor and recovering shopaholic from India. He writes about lifelong learning, personal growth, and positive psychology. When he’s not busy with his muse, he’s sweating either in a workout or emulating outdoor games in his home because of the pandemic. He also chronicles his writing and fitness journey on Instagram. Twitter is his mini-brain.
